Hmm.... I'm not sure quite what to say? I only know that writing makes me feel better....

Its so hard to describe what I'm thinking and feeling. The only thing I know is without a shadow of a doubt I am not the same person I was one month ago. I've grown and matured more than I thought possible. This emotional roller coaster has opened my eyes to so much in this world, I've dared to step beyond my bubble, I've dared to explore myself. To leave all that you're comfortable with and step outside yourself takes more courage than you might imagine... I feel like I've truly started the next chapter in my life. And although I feel like I've been set free, this new chapter scares me to death....

After everything thats gone on in my life lately.... its all topped off with me failing my economics test (which is the first test I've failed in college), and then catching the Plague (or relation there too). I need February to end.....

So I didn't think my week could get any worse.....

So I was in Tulsa last night when I wrote that last post. On my way back to Stillwater I get on the highway with the MPH being 65 in an area I'm not too familiar with. Okay, well about 3 miles into it I get pulled over.... So the cop comes up to me and asks, "Ma'm do you know how fast you were going?" I was like, 65? He said, "No, actually you were going 66." Okay I'm sitting there thinking you seriously pulled me over for going 1 mile over. Then he said, "do you know what the speed limit is?" I'm like, umm 65. And then he says, "No ma'm, it turned into 55 about a mile in half back since there is construction up ahead." I just kind of look at him and was like, I didn't realize that, I only saw the sign that said 65 and didn't see anything about construction (which I wasn't e ven in the construction zone yet. Anyway, he decides to write me a F***** ticket but he said taking into a count the fact that it was dark and the sign not usually there and I have a completely clean driving record he would only write the ticket for 10 over. This means I would go into the next bracket decreasing my ticket amount, and nothing would be reported on my insurance. That also meant I wouldn't have any points on my license. You know I'm thinking, you know MOST cops would give me a warning, but this freaking douche bag cop gives me the damn ticket. And you know how much the effing thing costs? $161.90!!!!!!!!!! I am so completely and UTTERLY broke. WTF am I gonna do???

SOOO just had basically the WORST week in her ENTIRE life?!?! That's right, that would be me.

Bombed a test, slept through government TWICE in one week. Was late for work 2 days. My great aunt of whom I was very close to passed away; she was basically my Grandma. Went to her funeral which was bearable, it was going to her house that made me sick. So many memories flooding back and knowing I would never get to share another. And then being told to go through her house and pick out things that we wanted to remember her by. It felt like I was invading someone's life. And then Saturday my computer's hard drive just randomly crashed and I lost my big paper that's due tomorrow. So I rewrote a 6 page  paper. So consequently the second time around it sucks. Failed my economics quiz online WITH notes and will more than likely fail the test Tuesday. AND! To top is all off I got a freaking flat tire!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to go to bed and sleep for about a week. Then maybe I would feel better...........